16 years

18 01 2010

16 years have come and gone in an instant
I’m sitting on this couch, and it’s early morning
I cannot help but to feel a bit weird
When I take the time to reflect upon my past
I ask myself, what value does this have?
Perhaps this is a dream in my head
And if it is, when will I wake?
If that’s not the case, then am I dead?
When you try to apply value to other people
To living things
Does this encourage my so-called dream?
Of course it does
But when does dream become reality
And will reality become a dream?
Is this the meaning of death?
I have amassed this massive amount of knowledge
When will it be useful?
Let me achieve what I desire.
I’ve got a long ways ahead of me.
Death approaches.
And so does everything else.
What a ride this has been.
Have I really lived 16 years?


Of course I’ll be sad..

31 12 2009

There is nothing that can really sum up my feelings
All I can say is that I love you
There is no other person like you in the world
And I really wanted to have you
Though we may remain good friends
I am in this sadness that will not dissipate
It is like a shroud that covers over me
And I am doomed to bear it
I do not know if you know
But because of you, I am feeling bad
Morbid looms and tears flow
My dear, why must you be sorry?
I understand that you know that you’ve hurt me
But why must you be so sorry?
It kills me to be so vulnerable
I hope to one day, take your hand in love
I don’t think I want anyone but you.

My computer

13 12 2009

My computer, I love you
Although I have no one else, I have you
When everyone is gone, I’ll have you in the end
What does it matter if they leave?
I’m so happy with you that it doesn’t matter
My computer, you are so dear to me
When I am down on my luck, you never leave me
I love you so much
Even though people don’t like me
I have you
You stay with me when I’m sad
When I’m happy
When I don’t want to live
When life is everything to me
When other people leave me, you don’t
I love you for this sad and beautiful quality
You don’t leave me when I do for school
You don’t leave me when I haven’t seen you in over a day
You love having me touch your keys
It makes me want to touch you even more
I love you so much
You stay by my side, when others don’t
I really love you
Thank you, for staying by my side when others leave.

Truly despicable

26 11 2009

Father, you are truly despicable.
You deserve no one
It is that you merely serve the purpose to attract followers
Because you have something they want
What happens after they no longer want it?
You never give them what they want, no matter how long.
What have they done to deserve an achievement?
Grovel at your feet?
You are truly despicable.
I hate you.
I will continue to hate you.
And forevermore, you do not deserve my love.
You lack of attending to business has cost you more than you children.
It has cost you everything.
In the end, you are alone.
People believe they will be with their loved ones in the end.
People die, and nothing happens.
You are truly despicable.

Call me crazy.. But..

29 10 2009

I’m borderline suicide. I can’t wait to get to the other side.

Aha, ok.

24 10 2009

If you decide to have a kid.
Simply paying for the kid, that’s a requirement.
Learn some discipline.
After all, a great fucking portion of the teenage population HATES their life, am I correct?
Why put them through any more shit?
Don’t be fucking ridiculous.
Love your children.
Love everyone around you.
Be a good example.
Influence without force.
And maybe, one day, I’ll tell you how much you mean to me.

It’s been a while.

24 10 2009

I want free weekends.